Postpartum Physical Recovery

  • My Top Tips For A Magical Postpartum

    How To Have A Smooth Transition To Motherhood

    How to have a smooth transition to motherhood

    I absolutely loved being pregnant.

    But I didn’t love being postpartum.

    In fact, after my first birth, I hated how I felt so much that I was ready to give up my dream of having at least 2 kids. Luckily, I had a breakthrough and I figured out the steps I needed to take to be the best new mom I could be.

    And I’m going to share my top tips for a smooth transition to motherhood today.

    When I got pregnant with my first baby I felt amazing. I felt like I was glowing and radiating creative positive energy. I was beyond excited to channel that energy into being a brand new mother. Into nurturing and caring for my newborn baby. I was searching for a deep postpartum transformation.

    After I gave birth,  I thought I would feel powerful, confident, evolved and like I was vibrating on a whole new level.

    But instead I felt ready to be done having babies.

    Just hours after my son was born, my husband looked at me and said “I could be good with just 1 kid.”

    And honestly in that moment, exhausted and traumatized by the birth, I felt that same way.

    And that feeling only grew as the days and weeks went on. Postpartum was even harder. I’m not going through that ever again, I told myself. 

    I was overwhelmed with newborn care and figuring out breastfeeding and blindsided by the care required for my postpartum body.

    Basically I felt unhappy and stagnant.

    It wasn’t until nearly 2 years after that birthing experience, where something changed within me. It started as a small glow that grew brighter and brighter.

    And I realized that it wasn’t that I didn’t want more children. It was that, I didn’t want the exhaustion and overwhelm again.

    I didn’t want the downward spiral into darkness I felt day by day.

    I knew I wanted more children, but I also knew that I had to do things very differently that next time around so that I could have the confident and positive postpartum transformation I was looking for.

    Eventually, both my husband and I healed ang grew to the point where we were ready to try for baby #2.

    But I knew we had a lot to discuss and work through before we even started trying.

    And when we did the work and curated our perfect postpartum plan, we thrived. 

    Postpartum was good. There were hard times but there was also lots of light and positive energy to combat the hard times. 

    Even though I knew I had a lot to learn with time, I felt confident as a new mom and a mom of 2.

    I had clarity on my journey ahead and how I wanted to shape my evolution. I relished n asking for help, accepting help and taking lots of me time. I laughed and found humour in what would have cause an exhausted outburst before. And i felt strong and proud of my body.

    I loved being being postpartum.

    There were 5  essential steps that I took on my journey to becoming a mom of 2.

    And these 5 steps are  inspired by what I’ve learned as a home visitor and postpartum doula,  my own unique experience as a postpartum woman and my love of journals, planning, ritual and mindset work.

    These are my top 5 survival tips for new moms. But really my top 5 thriving tips for new moms.  I use these 5 steps as my foundation when supporting new moms as a coach and postpartum doula.

    And when they work through each step thoughtfully and intentionally, they are able to thrive, not just survive, as new moms.

    1. Create A Postpartum Vision Board

    The first thing I did was I got really clear on my vision for my postpartum recovery. I thought long and hard about what I wanted and didn’t want. How I wanted to feel day to day, how I wanted my home to feel and be set up. I even thought about what clothing I wanted and how I wanted to care for my hair.
     
    I thought about how I wanted my postpartum days to flow, how I envisioned progressing from day 1 to day 40 postpartum, how I envisioned myself as a mom of two.
     

    I sat and imagined different scenarios and how I would ideally handle each one with two kids. I imagined going grocery shopping, doing school drop off, doing family activities that still engaged my older child, how my days with my infant would flow, how we could get out of the house and what that would look like. 

    I kept all of these dreams, wants and desires on my postpartum vision board. And I revisited my postpartum vision board often.

    I used it as a foundation for every aspect of my postpartum recovery, including curating my postpartum plan, choosing my prenatal education, assembling my support squad and the local resources I accessed.

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    2. Write Your Postpartum Plan

    Next, I started putting together my postpartum plan. The first thing I did here was work on assembling my support squad and sharing exactly how they could support my growing family.

    Writing my postpartum plan involved a whole lot of communication between my partner and I.

    Our main discussions focused on our expectations of one another, who would handle what, how we would handle different situations, and just working through our goals and putting together our game plan for after birth. 

    I created postpartum plans for about 11 different areas in my new mom life, including our sleep plan, postpartum nutrition, processing my birth and tapping into local providers and resources. 

    During the postpartum planning process, I referred back to my postpartum vision board often so that I could stay focused on my most important goals and needs after birth.

    I also continued tweaking and adding to my postpartum plan throughout my pregnancy and even after I gave birth.

    Postpartum planning is an ongoing process. It’s not just about the plan, it’s also about the follow through and the follow up

    3. Take Classes For New Parents

    After I started writing out my postpartum plan, I set out to find the right prenatal education to support my journey. Prenatal education will help you to shape realistic expectations and begin to mentally prepare you for the journey ahead.

    Given that this was my second pregnancy, I felt prepared when it came to newborn care. So I focused on finding a childbirth education class and a postpartum class.

    Ultimately, we ended up taking a combination of a childbirth class  and a postpartum class taught by the same instructor. Even though my husband and I had experienced pregnancy, birth and postpartum before, these classes served as a great refresher and helped us to create a more realistic postpartum plan. 

    If you are wondering What classes should I take before I give birth? Or What does a new mom need to know? you are not alone.

    As a postpartum doula, I suggest expectant parents take 3 prenatal classes: a childbirth education series, a postpartum focused class and a newborn care class. 

    The childbirth education class should be taught by an independent childbirth educator and focus on the birthing process and comfort measure. Hospital based birth classes usually focus on getting you familiar with your birthing place and their routines. I suggest taking this class in addition to a full childbirth series.

    The postpartum class should prepare you for what to expect after birth and how to create a solid postpartum plan to help you throughout your postpartum season.

    The newborn care class should get you familiar with normal newborn patterns and how to care for your newborn. A good class will highlight  infant temperaments, bonding and things you can do to promote healthy growth and development as your baby gets older..This class will also usually include lessons on breastfeeding and infant feeding.

    4. Focus On Nesting Intentionally

    I started nesting early and intentionally. Using my postpartum vision board and my postpartum plan, I began to prepare not only my home but also  my mind, body and spirit for postpartum.

    I wanted to take advantage of my prenatal countdown and get ready early so that I could have as much peace of mind as possible. 

    Each day I took small steps to get ready for postpartum and the journey to being a mom of 2. There are countless nesting checklists out there but for my postpartum doula clients, I recommend they start with preparing their:

    • Home – by decluttering hotspots around your home  and your baby’s room. 
    • Mind – by getting into prenatal focused therapy or support groups, connect with therapist you like early on
    • Body –  by strengthening and stretching my core and my pelvic floor muscles
    • Spirit – keeping a pregnancy/postpartum journal, setting up my birth/motherhood altar, affirmations everywhere

    Yes, that is a lot of prenatal work to get ready for postpartum. It is all soooo worth it though.

    5. Create a postpartum routine and incorporate postpartum rituals

    One thing that stood out to me with my own experience is that I felt so frustrated when I felt my days were unorganized and had no focus. As I approached my 2nd postpartum journey, I was really unsure of how to plan ahead to find purpose in each day.

    I started with creating a super simple routine around my basic needs each day.  Things like showering, brushing my teeth, getting dressed and doing my hair and eating breakfast. Super simple and basic. I thought I would have the capacity for more – more activities and more projects –  but once I was actually postpartum I realized the importance of getting back to basics. 

    Slowing down and focusing on my basic needs each day allowed me the space to find balance in my own time and ways. It forced me to re-evaluate the things that are most important and the things that could wait.

    I also incorporated postpartum rituals into my journey. Mainly to celebrate and honor milestones but to also bring some beauty and spirit work into my experience.

    Some postpartum rituals that I love and that I use in my work supporting brand new moms are:

    • Mother Blessing ceremony
    • Postpartum belly binding
    • Postpartum womb massage
    • Staying in bed after birth
    • Closing the bones ceremony

    You can choose to try modern postpartum practices or more traditional or cultural postpartum rituals. Whichever you choose, these postpartum rituals will help to honor your growth as a new mother.

    Bonus Tip: I also revisited my postpartum plan often throughout my postpartum journey. This is when I was able to really be clear about what was and wasn’t working in the moment and where I could make changes.

    If you want to survive postpartum, you need to thrive postpartum.

    Those are the steps I took to create a postpartum that I loved. After I had done all of this prep work, my postpartum journey still had its twists and turns. It wasn’t easy by any means. And by many standards my 2nd birth was more traumatic than my first. But my recovery was so much better. 

    My transition to motherhood felt so different from my first experience. I felt more at peace, more confident, more in control, and more clear on my  journey than ever before.

    Even in the toughest moments, I never felt lost. I knew I could always go back to my vision and my routines.

    Am I forgetting something? Leave a comment below and share your top tips for new moms who want to thrive after birth.

    Postpartum Vision Board Kit (2)
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  • How To Take Maternity Leave When You Are An Entrepreneur| A Postpartum Doula’s Perspective

    If you are an executive, entrepreneur, business owner or any other version of a boss babe, AND you are a mom to be…this is for you. You have been planning for months to welcome your first baby and now sh*t is about to get real. You’ve got all of the things, but emotionally, you’re a wreck.  You can’t avoid it any longer. It’s time to start really mentally preparing yourself to be a mom. You’ve done everything the books and blogs say you need to do and you feel ready, but you don’t feel prepared.

    And if you’re the type that’s used to planning your days and sticking to a tight schedule, the thought of taking maternity leave might be a completely foreign concept.  Especially, if you are a soloprenuer or manage a small team. The idea of taking a chunk of time away and/or leaving others in charge might worry you or seem impossible. You might be afraid that your business will suffer if you take maternity leave.

    But I’m here to let you know that taking maternity leave as an entrepreneur is totally doable and you and your business can thrive as a result.

    Here are some tips to help set you and business up for success as your embark on the journey to becoming a parent.

    ADD SOME STRUCTURE

    First things first ADD SOME STRUCTURE to your maternity leave.

    Define your maternity leave with a clear start date and end date. Some new parents feel just fine working right up until they give birth. Others may want to have some time off before baby arrives. For example, you can decide to take 4 full weeks off from work starting after you give birth. Or you could choose to take time off starting before your due date. Either way, schedule time off and take it seriously.

    Can you take 4, 6, or 8 weeks off from your business to give yourself the time to recover and care for your newborn?

    How will you return to your work? Many new moms find that they like to ease themselves back into working. If possible, making your first couple of days back, half days, can help you get back into the swing of things without being overwhelming.

    Be ready when its actually time for your maternity leave to start. The structure of your business will play a huge role here.

    If you are a solopreneur, think about the systems that you have in place to keep your business running smoothly.

    If you have a team, think about who your point person will be, what are the crucial tasks that must get done on a day to day basis, and the situations that you should be notified about. Make sure each member of your team is clear about their roles and your expectations while you are on your leave.

    Either way, you should also think about how you will communicate important details about your leave with your clients or customers. They will appreciate you being up front about what is going on with you and your business. 

    READY YOUR HOME

    Next it’s time to READY YOUR HOME, not just your body.

    In addition to getting your body ready for pregnancy and birth, it’s also very important that you get your home ready. Prepare you home for baby but also for lounging, resting and nursing/feeding your baby.  You may have also begun to prepare a nursery or sleep space for your baby. Don’t forget to create a cozy space for nursing your baby and for you to lounge and rest. This should be outside of your bedroom, if possible.

    When preparing your registry, add items with readying your whole home in mind. You might be surprised at which typically registry items actually go unused. Talk to real moms to find out what are the absolute necessities after giving birth.

    HONOR YOUR BODY

    HONOR YOUR BODY and your experiences in pregnancy, birth and postpartum.

    Many entrepreneurs learn the value of self care and investing in your physical and mental wellness as a part of their entrepreneurship journey.  Pay special attention to your body after birth and prioritize your physical recovery. Your physical recovery and how satisfied you are can impact your overall postpartum and how your bond with your baby.

    Take the time to document and track important details of your birth and physical recovery.  Allow your self the space and time to process your birth so that you can let go of any pain or trauma from your experience. There are lots of different ways to work through the hard feelings that can come with birth and postpartum. You deserve to find the method that works for you.

    FOCUS ON POSTPARTUM

    Get real and FOCUS ON POSTPARTUM. This is not a time to take lightly.

    Many business owners and first time parents look at the time as a vacation. They plan on outings and trips with their new baby. And I get it. You probably haven’t had a non-work vacation in who knows how long. But this is not that. Your maternity leave aka the early part of you postpartum, is not a get out and explore vacation.

    It’s more of a stay off of your feet and let others take care of you kind of vacation. And I see that when I put it like that, it sounds pretty effing awesome.  But don’t forget that during this time you will recovering from pregnancy and birth in addition to caring for a brand new human being that cannot meet any of their own needs.

    Postpartum and maternity leave is really a time to focusing on resting, recovering, and learning your baby. Things like housework and workwork kind of fall to the way side temporarily. This is when you lean heavy on your circle of support to maintain those things, so that you can focus on getting motherhood of to a great start.

    Give yourself time and grace to rest and recover. And when you feel ready, start connecting with your local mom community. Being an entrepreneur can have its lonely moments, especially if you are a solo boss. The time after birth can also be similarly isolating. With the intersection of those two lifestyles, the sooner your find your mom gang or mom bestie, the better.

    So there you have it. A postpartum doula’s take on how to rock maternity leave as an entrepreneur. Some thing that taking maternity leave will hurt their business but its actually the opposite. When you chose to focus on your self and your new family after birth, you allow yourself the space and clarity to step away from your business and return eagerly and confidently.

    how to take maternity leve when your an entreprenuer< a small business owner, CEO or the boss

  • 4 Life Changing Skills Every Postpartum Woman Should Have

    Oftentimes in the birth world, much of the focus is on the life changing experience that is pregnancy and childbirth and the new baby. And when we talk about the postpartum period, we tend to talk about postpartum depression or breastfeeding.

    But what about your transition from pregnant to parenting, from maiden to mother? What about your recovery from the 9 months of pregnancy and on average 19 hour labor and delivery?

    Medically, your postpartum recovery begins in the hour after your baby’s birth and last 6- 8 weeks as your uterus contracts back down into the pelvis and most of your body systems return to their non pregnant state.

    However, there are many other important events occurring the months after childbirth. You will be navigating your role as a new parent and what that means in your larger family and social networks. You will also be adjusting to physical and mental changes as your body recovers from pregnancy.

    Professionals and parents will agree that these changes can take much longer than 6-8 weeks to be resolved and that the healing time is closer to 12 months.

    The transitions and recovery that characterize your postpartum period will leave you in a vulnerable state which without the right preparation and support system can lead to serious physical and mental issues, including postpartum depression.

    And while there is certainly strength and beauty in vulnerability and asking for the support of those around you, it is normal to fear the unknowns of postpartum.

    You may have heard well-meaning horror stories from family and strangers alike. You might feel discouraged about your parenting, breastfeeding or recovery goals.  You might be hoping to just survive the postpartum period.

    This is totally normal. And the good news is that there are things you can do now to set your self up for a thriving postpartum.

    Becoming a mother will present new challenges in your life, making it is easy for you to your care and needs behind all of the other things you have to focus on.

    With the right tools, you can reach your goals and take hold off your new normal.

    You can do more than just survive postpartum, you can thrive.

    It sounds easy but you may be wondering how exactly you can do this. There are 4 skills that are constantly popping up in maternal health research as necessary to taking charge of your postpartum health, and your baby and family’s health.

    This also has long term effects on your life. More positive energy and confidence as a new mom means a deeper strong bond early on with your baby. And a strong bond with your baby early on has a positive effect on your life and help your child learn to form healthy relationships.

    By focusing on becoming stronger in these 4 areas you will be able to combat the stressors and challenges you may face in the months and years after you give birth.

    1|The ability to mobilize social support

    This is how you give and receive support from others. Support from close friends and professionals have been show to have positive effects on physical, social and mental health of new moms. A combination of emotional support, instrumental support and informational support will help soften how you view the challenging times.

    Get comfortable with asking for help and saying yes to help from others. But also be ready to be really specific about what your needs are and the type of help that you need. You are not a bad parent for needing and asking for help. You are not a burden. You will not hurt someones feelings by saying exactly what you need from others. And you are not alone.

    2|Self-efficacy

    Self efficacy is your belief in your ability to perform a behavior or task successfully. Essentially, it is your self confidence in yourself as a mother. Higher self- efficacy, or confidence in your abilities as mother, means the better you are going to be able to care for your baby, yourself and your family. Higher maternal self -efficacy is also linked to child development.

    Start building up that mom confidence –  momfidence? Is that a word? – as early as possible. Practice the skills necessary to care for an infant, spend time with family and friends with infants and ask questions.  Use positive affirmations to keep the positive thoughts flowing. Celebrate the successes and learn from the challenges without becoming discouraged. You will find your self-efficacy or momfidence growing each day.

    momfidence

    3|Positive coping strategies

    Coping is how you react and deal with a challenging situation or demand. Coping can happen as a reaction to or in anticipation to these demands or problems. Each mother copes differently depending on the situation and her unique personality but there is a connection between positive coping strategies and addressing any issue that arise head on.

    There are three types of coping strategies you can add to your skill set. You can change how you view or think about a problem, redefining or accepting the problem as is.  You can take action to lessen of get rid of the problem completely.  And you can change how your react to the problem, using meditation, relaxation or prayer.

    4|Realistic expectations

    We develop expectations as way to quickly and easily navigate our world. However, when our expectations are out of touch with the reality of a challenge, it can disrupt our lives and those around us. If your expectations are not met, this can have an affect on how you adjust to motherhood. Unmet expectations can also affect your ability to use the above skills when needed.

    Don’t be blindsided by postpartum. Get hands on experiences soothing a fussy baby. Talk to other moms about their experiences. Really listen but don’t let their experiences scare or discourage you. Know that each woman, each pregnancy, each labor, each delivery, each postpartum is unique and special. Use the experiences they share to form realistic ideas about how you see yourself as a mother.

    Start now

    Don’t wait until the postpartum period to start working on these skills. As soon as you learn that you are expecting you can start identifying the family, friends and professionals that make up your support network. By asking for help and learning from their experiences you will begin forming your expectations for your own mothering experience. You can start practicing using affirmations and positive self talk as your progress throughout your pregnancy. You can also plan ahead and identify not only potential challenge but also how you will cope.

    By working on these skills early on, you can set yourself up for postpartum success. I love helping new parents refine these skills in my postpartum planning sessions, where together we pinpoint your goals and create a custom action plan.

    4skills4postpartum

    Reference:

    Fahey, J. O. and Shenassa, E. (2013), Understanding and Meeting the Needs of Women in the Postpartum Period: The Perinatal Maternal Health Promotion Model. Journal of Midwifery & Women’s Health, 58: 613–621. doi: 10.1111/jmwh.12139

  • Forever My Lady Parts: Will My Vagina Ever Be The Same Again?

    Postpartum Vision Board Kit (2)
    It’s no secret that there will be many changes in your life as you prepare to welcome your new baby. Between baby registries and new responsibilities, you’ve got plenty to keep track of. There is one area, the vulva or vagina more specifically, that many new moms fear may be forever changed by childbirth. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. Your vulva, your vagina, your lady parts, whatever you prefer to call it, it will change. How exactly it will change depends on a number of factors, like your pregnancy and delivery. The increasing pressure of your growing pregnancy and the hormones that come along with it, prepare your body for labor. These factors can affect your bladder and your ability to “hold it”, even after childbirth.

    What if I tear or have to be cut?

    This is a very real fear the many women face going into the childbirth. In fact, first time moms have a 95% chance of experiencing some form of vaginal tearing There are 4 degree to which one can tear:
    • A first degree tear affects the lining of the vagina. Sutures may be need though usually left to heal on its own a first degree tear will heal beautifully.
    • A second degree tear affects the lining and deeper tissue of the vagina. This is the most common tear and definitely require stitches.
    • A third degree tear affects the lining and deeper tissues of the vaginal as well as the anal sphincter. Your doctor will need to suture each layer paying special attention to the muscle of the anal sphincter.
    • A fourth degree tear  includes all of the above and also extends through the rectal lining. The repair is delicate and intensive but luckily this is the least common tear, most common in vacuum or forceps assisted births or if the baby’s shoulder gets stuck.
    An episiotomy is an incision made to into the perineum to widen the birth canal. Fortunately, they are no long a routine part of managed childbirth as they can slow down the body’s healing process.

    What if I had a c-section?

    Cesarean recovery comes with its own set of issues to be aware of. It is major abdominal surgery after all. Even though your main focus is  your incision healing, you may still experience bruising or soreness in the perineum area from the added weight and pressure of pregnancy. Hormonal changes can also affect you libido and lead to vaginal dryness. And while you may not have to worry as much about pain during intercourse, many moms who birthed via cesarean report being afraid to cause damage to the area of their incision.

    Will intercourse still feel the same after I give birth?

    Let me tell you something about your vagina. It is a magical stretching and contracting organ. It provides pleasure and is a pathway for new life. Regardless of how you birth, things may feel a little different down there during intercourse. Due to the hormones flowing through your body to aid in breastfeeding and postpartum healing, you might experience dryness or even a new smell. You may find that your sex drive is out of whack and you have absolutely no interest in any form of intimate activities or maybe you have a heightened desire for intimacy. If you are eager to reconnect with your body, after giving birth, give yourself time and take things slow. A bubble bath or massage from your partner are good first step. However, if you are ready for solo time, masturbation focused on clitoral stimulation is okay as soon as you feel ready and can even have some benefits to your postpartum recovery.

    What can I do?

    Regardless of how you birth, you may have, at minimum, some soreness, or bruising in your perineal area after giving birth. This is normal and will dissipate as your recovery and healing progresses. Keep your sitz bath and peri bottle nearby. You can fill them with warm water or with a gentle, healing, herbal blend. Arnica tablets are a great homeopathic remedy to have on hand that won’t interfere with any medications you might be prescribed postpartum. Arnica is used to help with bruising and swelling and can be used topically as a cream or taking internally as a small pill. Treat your bottom like a queen with an inflatable donut pillow. This will allow your vulva to heal without pressure, discomfort and pain every time you sit down. (#momtip get two and keep one in the car for when you and baby go out for appointments.) Get as much rest as possible. Sleep when baby sleeps. Let people do things for you without feeling guilty. Your lochia, or postpartum bleeding, will signal to you if you are doing too much and need to focus more on resting. If you notice a change in the brightness or amount of  bleeding take that as a signal to put your feet up. So yes, your vaginal and the other lady parts of your vulva, will go through quite a bit. Some of it may be not so bad, while other parts may be just downright traumatizing.

    The good news is that you are not the first and you are not alone.

    You have a support network and a community of mothers who have been through this same journey that you are on now and they are ready to support you and uplift you so you can thrive! forevermyladyblog (1)
    Postpartum Vision Board Kit (2)